Yesterday at the eye doc I witnessed a scene that is by no means *important* or anything, but if you're a mother or a daughter you might relate to its ambiguity. So, I'll tell you about it in a sec. But first: I AM a little bit cross-eyed, just as I suspected! My grandma Sally was so cross-eyed she had to have surgery. Her baby pics are the cutest. Anyway...
As I was wandering the shop trying on frames before my exam, I heard someone checking in behind me and they had THE COOLEST NAME EVER but I can't tell you what it is because I'm not a jerk. But man, I wish I could tell you this person's name. Good god, it's great. I turned around and said "Is your name seriously________?! That's incredible!," and the mom-lady (carrying a Louis Vuitton purse) said yes and nodded. I barely noticed the teenaged girl next to her who, about one minute later, had new glasses on her face. So she was the patient. It was the girl's name. It kind of pissed me off that the mom would answer for her, you know? Like, why give your daughter a such kick ass name and then not allow her to be the one to claim it? So there I was, squarely not on the mom's side right from the jump. (I'm not actually sure if she was the girl's mother or a stepmom or older sister, this being Hollywood and everyone looking roughly the same age: 40.)
A little while later they were leaving the office and the mom popped back in.
"The lenses are just so... thick. Do they have to be that thick?"
My ears perked up. I hadn't noticed any crazy thickness.
"How much would it cost to make them thinner? Can we do that?"
Here, again, I was hating this woman, but I'll give her credit for leaving the kid outside while she made this request. Then my exam started so I didn't get to hear the end of it, but the whole reason I'm relaying this is because it's a perfect case of projection and I'm afraid we do it all the time as parents. The mother, or whoever she was, thought the glasses looked bad and now she's maybe going to convey that to the kid in some way, probably by having her return them for a bit so they can make the lenses thinner. Her thinking is that she's saving the girl WITH THE MOST AWESOME NAME from the judgment of her peers but in doing so, the mom is the one preemptively judging her. It really pissed me off in the moment, but a day later, I'm not at all sure how I feel about it. Kids, man.